About

I don’t have much to say about myself. For somebody so narcissistic you would think I would have more to say. I don’t. I’m working on my writing skills, so when I think of something witty – I’ll let you know.

 

In the meantime, just know that I have huge tits, I’m probably 40 lbs overweight depressed, going through some sort of mid-life crisis, half unemployed, and highly motivated to shape the fuck up. I haven’t always been so sucky. 

 

Here is a stupid bulletin from myspace that I copied and pasted. I hope you hate it as much as I do.

 

 

1.        Look in your inbox, who are most of your texts from?

MG

 

2.        Are you an alcoholic?

Eh. I’m a binge drinker.

 

3.        Where is the last person you kissed?

Everywhere. I live with him.

 

4.        Does anyone disgust you?

Dumb bitches. Mostly girls, but some guys.

 

5.        When was the last time you cried?

1.10.09 today is 1.12.09

 

6.        What are you good at in school?

History.

 

7.        Forgive or forget?

Forgive and try to forget. But an elephant never forgets.

 

8.        What’s something you can’t wait for?

To be happy with a “career.”

 

9.        If you took a drug test would you pass it?

L No

 

10.     How many myspace accounts do you have?

1 and it’s so boring. I <3 Facebook

 

11.     What was your first thought this morning?

Get up. Take a shower. Start your blog. Pretend you have a life.

 

12.     Would you rather talk on the phone or chat in IM?

Text.

 

13.     Do you listen to music everyday?

I suppose. I love VH1 Soul and MTV Jamz / Hits

 

14.     Is anything bothering you?

Yes. I’m overweight. I’m depressed. I have 2 degrees from UCLA and I am about to start a HOSTESS job tomorrow. I have no money. I am confused about life. I am a victim of this bad economy.

 

15.     Are you talking to anyone while doing this?

Nope. Watching CNN. Hahaha Bye Bye Bush – you suck! Barack rocks!

 

16.     When were you the saddest in your life?

I think right now.

 

17.     Name one song that explains your current life:

Under the Bridge

 

18.     Do you tend to listen to your friends when they tell you that a boy/girl is bad for you?

I have never had that advice. It usually doesn’t go that far. I have a short tolerance for people who do not worship me.

 

19.     What emotion are you feeling right now?

Contempt

 

20.     Do you find the opposite sex confusing?

Not confusing but dumb, simple, and lost.

 

21.     Did the last friend you lost mean a lot to you?

Yes. All the friends I lose mean a lot.

 

22.     How many piercings do you have?

One – my ears. I used to have my tongue back when I was 18 and whoring it up.

 

23.     Are you a morning person or a night person?

I like waking up early and going to bed late. Napping is what life is about.

 

24.     When was the last time you were sick?

The period between x-mas and a few days after New Years.

 

25.     Money or love?

I want to say love, but I have that and we want money.

 

26.     Does the last person who put their arms around you mean anything to you?

No. It was some stranger. Yeah right! Of course he means something to me.

 

27.     Does anyone know your myspace password?

No. But I have nothing to hide. I wish I knew MG’s.

 

28.     What were you doing at 11:00 last night?

Watching a BluRay DVD. I love BluRay!

 

29.     How long does it take for you to take a shower?

15 mins if I’m not shaving, maybe a half hour if I am.

 

30.     Have you kissed someone whose name begins with the letter D?

Probably.

 

31.     Do your parents really know you?

They know me, but they don’t know the things I’ve done.

 

32.     How old will you turn in 2009?

28. But MG and I have this new thing – he’s 27 and I’m 25 for the next 10 years J Makes me feel better about life.

 

33.     Whats your relationship with the person you last texted?

He’s my luvah.

 

34.     What movie do you really want to see right now?

Notorious (it’s about Notorious B.I.G. – I <3 Biggy Smalls!) and any movie on BluRay.

 

35.     Where are your siblings?

One in San Diego. One in the Persian Gulf.

 

36.     If you found out you couldn’t have kids, would you adopt?

Maybe. Maybe foster.

 

37.     Where was the last place you slept besides your bed?

The couch.

 

38.     Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Sure.

 

39.     Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

Yes. That I do. It totally sucks ass sometimes but whaddya going to do?

 

40.     Did you go out or stay in last night?

Stay in.

 

41.     When is your next road trip?

I’m not sure. Hopefully soon! I want to go somewhere I haven’t been.

 

42.     What are you listening to right now?

A dumb commercial on CNN.

 

43.     Has anyone said they love you in the last week?

Yesh. Ma and Pa Dukes and MG.

 

44.     Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?

MG

 

45.     What are you craving right now?

A new apt so I can get a puppy.

 

46.     Do you like waking up in the morning to find that you have new texts?

I used to. But the person who will text me is sleeping beside me.

 

47.     How many times have you lied today?

None.

 

48.     Are you in the middle of texting someone?

No. I’m doing this dumb shit.

 

49.     Are you friends with someone who’s older than you?

Yes. I have a few friends that are in their 40s. The oldest is 49.

 

50.     Would you tattoo someone’s name on your body?

Nope. Jews can’t get tattoos.

 

51.     How late did you stay up last night and why?

1:30am. That’s kinda early for me. I love falling asleep to Forensic Files.

 

52.     Who was the last person you had a conversation with and what about?

MG. He put a sock on me. I had one on, one off.

 

53.     Who made you laugh today?

N.P.H. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1-AJS1k4P0

 

54.     Who made you mad today?

George W. Bush.

 

55.     Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?

Nope.

 

56.     What are your plans for tomorrow?

Start my new hostess job. Hey at least it’s not unemployment.

 

57.     Do you have a flip or slide phone?

A sidekick and a blackberry.

 

58.     Do you have an iPod?

No. I think somebody stole it ‘cause I know I didn’t lose it.

 

59.     What’s the mood your in right now?

Mellow.

 

60.     Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down?

MG, Abs, LDH, Funky Cold Medina, Family

 

61.     What song are you currently listening to?

I’m not. I changed CNN to Blades of Glory.

 

62.     What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone?

Threw my purse in a sink with an automatic faucet and it gave everything inside a nice shower. Including the sidekick.

 

63.     Do you personally know anybody who has more than five tattoos?

Uh yeah.

 

64.     Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?

I said I was going to go for a walk and I haven’t.

 

65.     Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now?

Only me. I blame my problems on myself and G.W. Bush.

 

66.     What was the last graduation you attended?

My man’s culinary school graduation.

 

67.     Do you owe anyone money?

Best Buy and my B of A UCLA credit card,

 

68.     If you could go to any place right now, where would you go?

I want to say somewhere tropical but I think I want to be in Europe. Everywhere in Europe.

 

69.     Would you make a good parent?

I don’t want to say no.

 

70.     Do you get along with guys or girls better?

Both. I’m cool like that.

 

71.     Where is your father right now?

In San Pedro

 

72.     Do you miss someone?

I don’t know. If I think about it, sure, I miss a lot of people.

 

73.     Look to your right, what is there?

Pillows. I’m on a couch.

 

74.     Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Warm.

 

75.     Are you happy with life?

Not really. I try, but I’m faking.

 

76.     What were you doing at 7 am this morning?

Sleeping.

 

77.     Ever thrown a shoe at somebody?

Yeah, I had a younger sister growing up.

 

78.     Has anyone got on your nerves lately?

MMMmmmmmG

 

79.     Ever thrown a phone at someone?

See answer #77

 

80.     Do you think trust is a big deal?

Yes. These questions are getting dumb.

 

81.     What are you going to do this weekend?

Probably nothing. I am lame.

 

82.     Do you get the recommended eight hours of sleep a night?

If I don’t, I make up for it in naps.